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Jake's New Business
Jake's New Business is a Barney Bunch film that was released on November 24, 2017. Script Jake Paul 2016.png|We've got a deal today, Blake. Blake johnson talks about fat cat 20-dec-2012.jpg|What is it? Jake Paul 2016.png|I'm going to open a store that people can call by phone, that sells dead and unused babies. Blake johnson talks about fat cat 20-dec-2012.jpg|Terrible idea.A better idea is introducing Fat Cat to American audiences. Jake Paul 2016.png|Oh. I think I'm gonna pass the deal to someone else then. Photostudio 1459811681591.jpg|Can I be in one if Team 10's vlogs? Jake Paul 2016.png|Sure. Meanwhile Logo.png Jake Paul 2016.png|We've got a deal, Dr. Beanson. Dr. Beanson.png|Okay, what's the deal? Jake Paul 2016.png|We're launching a phone service that sells dead and unused babies. It's going the called the Jake Paul Youth Delivery Service. Dr. Beanson.png|Sure thing, Jake. Photostudio 1459811681591.jpg|Oh no you ain't. Jake Paul 2016.png|...But why? Photostudio 1459811681591.jpg|That's illegal, Trump of YouTube. Jake Paul 2016.png|Come on, Fat Cat. I'm only launching the service to fight against this country's laws. KennyKidna.jpg|Even though I hate Fat Cat, you're much worse Jake. Jake Paul 2016.png|Are you kidding me? I'm even better than all the other YouTubers out there, like PewDiePie, RiceGum, DramaAlert, Fousey, KSI, and pretty much everyone else. Lucas-1.jpg|No. Even my cheap tastes in many things are better than Jake's tastes. Jake Paul 2016.png|Even you, Fred. I'm more talented than you. Lucas-1.jpg|The name's Lucas. I'm a washed up internet celebrity who's cheap and I'm proud of it. Jake Paul 2016.png|At least my vlogs are far less cheaper than your vids. I spend lots of dollars for making them. Lucas-1.jpg|In 5 years, you'll be washed up, like me. Jake Paul 2016.png|Jake Paul never chooses to lose. I'll always be famous till the end of time. Lucas-1.jpg|You'll be like me, but not gay. Jake Paul 2016.png|I'm already not gay. Twelfth Doctor (Doctor Who).jpg|In the future, you'll be washed up. Lucas-1.jpg|See ya in 5 years! Jake Paul 2016.png|Uh-huh, I'll see when I believe it. DaddyFingerPeppaPigHulk.jpg|I love your idea, Jake. Jake Paul 2016.png|Thank you for saying that. DaddyFingerPeppaPigHulk.jpg|You're welcome. IMG_8324.jpg Dr. Beanson.png|Now that we've launched the service, we should get our first caller anytime now. Dr. Beanson.png|*phone rings* Finally, our first caller! Here, Jake, have the phone. Jake Paul 2016.png|Jake Paul Infant Delivery Service, may I take your order? Elory-love-star.jpeg|Jake? I hate RiceGum. Jake Paul 2016.png|Sorry, but this phone service is for ordering dead and unused babies to be sent to your mailbox. There is no need to call us just to say that, okay? Elory-love-star.jpeg|Oh. *hangs up* IMG 8197.PNG Dr. Beanson.png|*using phone* Jake Paul Youth Delivery Service, how may I help you? F05fd3bb3ae067650306e2979498a4db.jpg|Hello. I would like to order from Jake Paul, please. Dr. Beanson.png|Okay. I'm handing you over to the service chairman, Jake Paul. Jake Paul 2016.png|WHAT IS GUCCI, BABY!? Current ABB Leader.jpg|Yes, I would like 13 dead children, 8 dead babies, and 4 unused. Jake Paul 2016.png|Alright. I have written down your order. I'm going to look through our stock, so please be patient. F05fd3bb3ae067650306e2979498a4db.jpg|Okay. EvilCops.jpg|Excuse us Jake Paul, but what are you selling? Jake Paul 2016.png|I'm selling my brand new Jake Pauler merchandise. EvilCops.jpg|Oh. LIL PUMp.jpg|Jake Paul! Jake Paul 2016.png|Lil Pump, what do you have to say to me? LIL PUMp.jpg|I want esketit. Jake Paul 2016.png|Esketit? What does that mean? LIL PUMp.jpg|Nevermind. IMG 8197.PNG Jake Paul 2016.png|*phoning Anpanman* I just finished making your order ready. They are now about to be shipped to your home. F05fd3bb3ae067650306e2979498a4db.jpg|Good, but please be fast. Bye. Jake Paul 2016.png|Anytime. Elmer older man.jpg|Hello young man. When I was younger, the world was different. Can you alter these offensive photos I was in. Don't alter me though. Jake Paul 2016.png|Okay. And Dr. Beanson, is someone's calling us, please answer it when I'm not there. Dr. Beanson.png|Yes, sir. LIL PUMp.jpg|Esketit is my favorite food. Photostudio 1459811681591.jpg|Is it even a real food? Jake Paul 2016.png|Probably not. 87 calls later.png Dr. Beanson.png|Wow, our service had a rise in calls lately. Dr. Beanson.png|*phone rings* Oh, phone's ringing again. *picks up* Jake Paul Youth Delivery Service, may I help you please? Kokinchan.jpg|Of course. I would like to order 20 dead babies and 10 unused ones. Is that a good deal? Dr. Beanson.png|Of course. I'm making your order right now. Kokinchan.jpg|Okay. Meanwhile Logo.png New York City.jpg DrewPickles.gif|Urgent, all members of The Barney Bunch! I have recently discovered that Jake Paul is currently running an illegal phone service with Dr. Beanson, which sells dead children, as well as completely unharmed ones. Chaz Finster.gif|I don't like Jake Paul very much, but this has got to be the worst thing he has ever done, next to the fact that he had once defeaned a man's ear with a car horn. Elmer older man.jpg|I agree with you, Chaz. I'm calling the police on Jake for this. 4f87a4b47b955_224523b.jpg|What kind of sick fuck would do that? 120px-Ronald-mcdonald1.jpg|I know, right? 2f3.jpeg|Am I late? DrewPickles.gif|Yes, unfortunately. 2f3.jpeg|SHIT! Censor bar.png|The tiger dancer rips his underwear. 250px-Barney.jpg|Oh, you stinker! 2f3.jpeg|Sorry. Pwizel.JPG|Hello. Can I join? DrewPickles.gif|First, you'd have to take a quiz to prove yourself eligible to join. Pwizel.JPG|What do I do? DrewPickles.gif|It's that simple: you have to answer questions about yourself in order to join our group. Pwizel.JPG|Okay. Meanwhile Logo.png Old Town.JPG Uzi Vert.jpg|I have to admit... Stwephanie.JPG|What do you have to admit? It better be good. Uzi Vert.jpg|I'm visiting Rio de Janeiro for my newest tour. Stwephanie.JPG|Brazilians suck! Uzi Vert.jpg|Sorry, but I had to say it. Pwizel.JPG|The Barney Bunch declined me! Stwephanie.JPG|Why is that? Pwizel.JPG|My hatred of Italians. Stwephanie.JPG|Oh. Pwizel.JPG|By the way, I punched Drew because he had Russian heritage. Elaine prongs by bluedragon0812-db1o19g.jpg|Let's kill Drew. Stwephanie.JPG|Sure. Meanwhile Logo.png Crowd.jpg|COME TO BRAZIL, LIL UZI VERT! Uzi Vert.jpg|I'm here. Uzi Vert.jpg|*starts rapping* ESTATE BROKAGE, I GOTTA START THE NAME OF GUCCI JEANS TODAY, CAUSE I GOT... Booingpeople.jpg LIL PUMp.jpg|Your rhymes are wack, Uzi Vert. 2068.jpg|Remember me internet? I'm ba- Dr.WhoDalek.JPG|EXTERMINATE! 2068.jpg|Exterminate who? Censor sign.png|The Dalek exterminates Fred. 2068.jpg|I'm a time lord. Goo- Censor bar.png|Fred regenerates. The master1.jpg|New body,new voice! Download (29).jpg|Who are you? The master1.jpg|I'm Master Fredrick. I haven't met you until now, but I'm a time traveler. LIL PUMp.jpg|GUC- Uzi Vert.jpg|Shut up, Lil Pump. This isn't your concert. Dr.WhoDalek.JPG|EXTERMINATE! Censor sign.png|Lil Pump shoots fhe Dalek, destroying it in the process. Meanwhile Logo.png Pwizel.JPG|Elaine. Elaine prongs by bluedragon0812-db1o19g.jpg|What? Pwizel.JPG|Stephanie was exterminated. Elaine prongs by bluedragon0812-db1o19g.jpg|Why was she exterimated? Pwizel.JPG|She almost wiped everything in existence or something. Elaine prongs by bluedragon0812-db1o19g.jpg|Oh. It's sad that Stephanie's gone anyway. Pwizel.JPG|I know. Meanwhile Logo.png Jake Paul 2016.png|I'm back, Dr. Beanson. Dr. Beanson.png|Oh, good. Jake Paul 2016.png|*phone rings and he answers it* Jake Paul Youth Delivery Service. DaddyFingerPeppaPigHulk.jpg|I want 15 dead babies and 10 unused ones, please. Jake Paul 2016.png|Alright, order's coming right up. Please be patient while I'm looking through our stock. DaddyFingerPeppaPigHulk.jpg|Okay, but please make it in a jiffy. ChefPeePeeYellsAtBowser.png|And make them into soup. Jake Paul 2016.png|The dead ones or the unused ones? ChefPeePeeYellsAtBowser.png|Just the dead ones, please. Jake Paul 2016.png|Alright. Coming right up! Jake Paul 2016.png|Who's that guy trapped in the pile of all those babies? He looks very familiar... Keemstar.PNG|It's me, Killer Keemstar. I was in that pile of dead babies so I can spy on you. Bob Prudence.PNG|By the way, Keem's starring on my news talk show. KeemstarIRL.jpg|How did you get here? You look like an orange with a face drawn on it on top of a blue box. Jeffysdad.jpg|I Fred Figglehorn's mother. I died, but turned into a man. His father was exterminated after trial. Stwephanie.JPG|Fred's mom, thanks for reviving me. Keemstar.PNG|By the way. What were we talking about again? Bob Prudence.PNG|I've been following wherever you went, and I had to make sure you didn't notice me. Also, the name's Bob Prudence. I work at +2 and I'm the host of the station's daily news show. Like I said, I have my own talk show I would like you to be featured on. Keemstar.PNG|Sure, Bob. I'm going for that deal. Bob Prudence.PNG|But first, we're taking a trip to the English town of Sutton; that's where +2's headquarters are located. Keemstar.PNG|I guess so. PlusTwo.png|+2 ident plays. Announcer: Now on the +2 network, we have Interview with Bob Prudence coming right now. Then after that, it's Weed Week. Bob Prudence.PNG|Welcome to Interview with me, Bob Prudence. Today's guest is a person you might have heard of. He hosts a show on YouTube in which he discusses about social interactions that's happening on the site. Please welcome, Killer Keemstar. Audience.jpg Keemstar.PNG|Thank you. It's great to be featured on this show with Bob. Bob Prudence.PNG|So, Keemstar. What inspired you to start DramaAlert? Keemstar.PNG|I was forced to. Bob Prudence.PNG|What's the reason for that? Keemstar.PNG|By the da- By Alex and his goons. They've always been making me browse YouTube for drama and make videos on it. Bob Prudence.PNG|Who's Alex? Keemstar.PNG|He's one of my frenemies who is of Italian heritage. Bob Prudence.PNG|Why is your nickname Killer Keemstar? How did you come up with that name? Keemstar.PNG|Ever since I was in junior high, I wanted to be famous, like a superstar. So I took my last name and followed it with the word "star." The "Killer" in my nickname means that I've killed many players back when I used to play Call of Duty. Bob Prudence.PNG|What did you dream of becoming a star for? Keemstar.PNG|Uh-huh. Bob Prudence.PNG|Why did you want to become a star? I want an actual reason. Keemstar.PNG|So idiots can think that I'm involved in Illuminati bullshit. Bob Prudence.PNG|How did you become popular on YouTube? Keemstar.PNG|By luck, of course. Bob Prudence.PNG|What do you think of Jake Paul? Keemstar.PNG|An idiot. Btw, Fred Figglehorn paid me to start DramaAlert. Category:Films Category:2017 Films Category:Films Directed by Barney